I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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