I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
