Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
