Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
