how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
