Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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