so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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