Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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