Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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