I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
