That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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