R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I bet he comes in French.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
