Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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