I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everything about him screamed your future.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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