If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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