She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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