Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
