i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Congratulations! We have a period
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