The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
