This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
