Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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