I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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