just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just want nice things and good sex
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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