I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
