i don't plan on having that self control this summer
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
