I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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