so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
