This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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