Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
