he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I fill condoms, not promises.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
