Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
