So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
