We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
