what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
