its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
