I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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