hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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