Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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