i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
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