Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
