hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we're making bets on your personal life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
