So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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