just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
