You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
