Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
