Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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