I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
