i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
