we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
