So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
