I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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