they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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